My girls are in VBS this week (at the church I went to VBS at as a kid...so cool), so I've gotten some much needed fun time with my boys. I can already see it benefiting my 22 month old, and it's definitely benefiting me!
Anyway, yesterday--the first day of VBS--I decided to go have a nice, long, relaxing trip to Target since I only had two kids with me. I figured, one will be sitting in the cart and I'll be wearing the other, so what could go wrong? The answer?? EVERYTHING.
Let's start with the fact that my 2 month old HATESSSS the heat, and it was around 104 degrees. Oh, and fun fact...the air conditioning in our car is broken right now. Fine holiday fun, as you can imagine. So I leisurely strode around Target for all of 3 minutes (long enough to get me a large Diet Coke and my big boy a snack) when my gentle giant just couldn't take the heat anymore. The sound of a thousand banshees being slaughtered burst forth from this child's lungs in supersonic capacities. As I danced around like a buffoon in any way that had previously comforted him and made every combination of every whooshing and shushing noise I could think of--while trying to get him to take his pacifier and put a game on my phone for the cubby--I suddenly felt "the stare" coming at me from every direction.
(You all know what I'm talking about right? The "shut your kid up, I'd like to look at these sporting goods in absolute silence!" or "whew, lady...you are in over your head...maybe you shouldn't go out in public with your children" look.)
I felt a huge surge of pride come over me. "I have four children, and most of the time I enjoy going out in public alone with all of them! How dare these people look at me like this!" Then it hit me. I might not do "the stare" but I definitely get all kinds of puffed up when it's someone else's kid screaming in the middle of the store and mine are behaving well (which--let's be honest--isn't all that much). My distorted version of judgement and pride is no different than the people who feel inconvenienced and offended by a mother nursing her child while they are trying to eat at a restaurant, or the dude who wants to look at ankle weights or fanny packs or whatever at Target in absolute silence. Owned. I get it, Lord. Thanks for the gentle-ish reminder. In those moments, I should be doing what I can to encourage and minister to that mom who is at her wit's end.
It was about 15 minutes later, and Jesse was still going strong with the supersonic banshee howling. I was buying a few small things, including a cheap pack of receiving blankets because I had NOTHING to cover up with to nurse him! For you breastfeeding advocates out there, I definitely don't think women have to cover up to breastfeed, and very often I don't cover up if the outfit I'm wearing allows for maintaining modesty. Well, this outfit did not allow for that, and all I had was a tiny burp cloth, so I bought some blankies to assist me. Holy tangent. Sorry. Anyway, I'm holding Jesse at this point because he just wasn't having the carrier, and I'm checking out with one hand. Meanwhile, my biggun is screaming "HEYYYY" at me over and over because apparently I put the wrong video of trucks on my phone for him, and he starts throwing my phone on the floor (thank the Lord for phone covers) and screaming at me to get it. Bahhhh.
At this point, I'm just dragging. I'm holding the baby with one arm, trying to calm down the toddler with the other arm, and pushing a shopping cart with my stomach. "Just a few more steps until I can sit down and nurse, give cubby a snack, and have a minute of quiet." I was repeating this to myself in my head as I struggled my way to the seating area, when suddenly I felt a hand on my forearm. Two women were standing at the wedding registry kiosks to my left, and one of them had stepped out and stopped me. "It's okay, mama. Don't worry, you're doing great. I remember these days, and now I'm here with my daughter registering for her wedding! Just enjoy these babies right now." I was fighting back tears. I felt so encouraged and like I had my second wind to get through the day, just because this woman took a few seconds to put herself in my shoes and encourage me!
Sometimes we are the "me" in this story, and sometimes we have the chance to be the lovely stranger who chooses selflessness in someone else's moment of need. I wish I could say that I make the effort to do this more often than not, but unfortunately I choose selfishness much of the time. I make much of myself by thinking my time is too valuable to give away. Oh, that I would make much of Jesus and use my time as He did, to reflect God's glory to the world!
Here's to using our precious time on earth to glorify Him!
Tiff
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