sickness in my house...again. I just...can't. {plus cute medication log printable}

This isn't an exaggeration. Brace yourself.

My family has been sick perhaps twelve times in the past six months. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Everyone keeps asking me if there is something in my house that is making us sick (super comforting thought, btw), and if I'm doing things to boost our immune system.

I don't know if there is something in this house making us sick, but I really don't think there is. It's been stomach bugs, head colds, combinations of the two, pneumonia, etc. Oh, and I am doing the best I can with the immune system thing. We are using a custom blend of essential oils for immunity (something I'm trying to convince ShabbyNot4Gotten to add to her fabulous side project, The High Heeled Hippy on Storenvy), we're doing probiotics, juices & smoothies, making sure we get enough exercise, etc. 

All that being said, we've just been sick SO MUCH. And I just can't. ("Just can't what?") I just can't.

I am in complete survival mode these days. Imagine me juggling sippy cups & bottles, medicine bottles, snacks, a pot boiling over in the background, approximately 3-4 kids screaming and crying in the background, me stepping on a duplo and dropping said cups, bottles, and medicine bottles, me yelling at said kids, me stomping into my room for a scream into a pillow and a deep, cleansing breath (or 50), and finally me coming out with tears in my eyes, ready to start over.

^^This. This has been my life nearly every of the times the past few months.

Allow me to clarify something right quick? I really don't want to complain about my life...it is SO awesome, and I am SO SO SO thankful for it. This is a vent, but also a hope that someone can relate to and be encouraged by all of this...somehow. 

With all this juggling and what not going on, and me constantly zombie-ing around, I worry about giving my kids the wrong dose of medicine or flat out the wrong medicine. Plus, my cubby goes to the hospital every now and then and I need to know everything he's had the previous few days...so...I try to always use a medication log. (Quick disclaimer: I am not beast mode organized. I really want to be, and I have been for a select few seasons of life, but this is not one of them.) It's just a simple little form to track which kid had which thing and how much they had; or rather, how much was in the cup or dropper...and I really have no idea how much made it down the hatch.

So, without further ado, I give you the medication log. Print a few and hang them up in your kitchen or bathroom, or wherever the pharmacy is in your home.

Here's to...praying through the rest of cold & flu season!

Tiff

self-esteem vs. the gospel

Have you ever thought about the fact that the whole concept of self-esteem is contrary to the gospel? You probably have. I hadn't. 

But maybe, just like me, you've been told your whole life that it's what you think of yourself that's important...and nothing else. Honestly, I've told my daughters this and not thought much of it. Even as I've grown and matured as a Christian, and striven to live in a more Christlike manner (which calls us to DIE to self!!), I've held on to that concept of self-esteem. The age old concept of liking yourself, and caring about your own opinion of yourself more than what others think of you. 

In his book, "The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness," Timothy Keller runs this mindset through the ringer...and I'm so very thankful.

“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

This C.S. Lewis quote (referenced in "The Freedom of Self'-Forgetfulness") just about sums up the  main idea of the book, and it's a quote I'd heard before but apparently never spent much time contemplating. In reality, my version of humility often looks a lot like pride. Sure, I'm not sitting around thinking about how great I am; but in my feeble attempts to be humble and Christlike in how I view myself, I sure ended up thinking about myself a lot. Here, Keller offers up a simpler approach to gospel humility...just don't care what YOU think about yourself. Don't think about yourself. Think about Jesus. Be secure in the fact that the Almighty thinks of you. Think about other people, and their needs. Think.Of.Yourself.LESS. 

If you are aiming for being truly humble, it doesn't quite hit the mark if you are always thinking of ways YOU can improve, or what a scumbag YOU are. This has been my version of humility. I am constantly looking for ways to make myself better, but masking it as "I'm humble because I'm not thinking of how great I am, I'm thinking of ways I'm not great (and thinking of ways to fix them all)." Me me me me me. I I I I I. 

Sound familiar? If it does, read this book in conjunction with the passages he references in it. It costs about three cents on kindle (okay a hundred and sixty-two cents at the moment), and will take you an hour or two to get through. 

Oh, and if you are convicted by this...don't dwell on what an awful person you are because, well... (see above). 

Here's to thinking of ourselves less!

Tiff

{letting your husband lead you, part 3} help him establish authority with the children...

How many times has this happened?

Dad: "{Kid}, what exactly do you think you are doing? I asked you to {insert task here}."

Kid stands there dumbfounded, not knowing what to say.

Kid: "Um...mom asked me to {insert thing that got in the way here}..."

Me: "Honey, I did ask her to do this for me real quick. Can she do{his ignored task} after??"

(Or something of that nature.)

This happens so much in my house! My poor husband is so good at taking each little opportunity to gain ground with our kids, as far as their obedience goes. He is great at phrasing things the right way. He can assert his Godly authority over our children without exasperating them....and then I come along and throw a wrench in the works. I undermine his authority right in front of them.

I'm sure some will think that may be a harsh way to put it, but you have to think about it the way a child will think about it. A child will have a heck of a time differentiating my chiming in to modify and/or negate the discipline situation they are in with their father, from me telling them flat out to ignore him, or that what he says goes...as long as it aligns with everyone else's opinion. If I've done the first in front of the kids, I may as well have done the second.

Though this may sound weird at first, think about why at least half of the moms out there say the phrase "you just wait until your father gets home." I'm not saying we shouldn't discipline our kids ourselves, ladies, but God's design for the Christian family home places the man as the head. Maybe this is why that phrase flies out of millions of mouths every single day. He has Godly authority over his family, and you have the Godly task of helping him establish this authority with your children.

So what does this look like practically? Honestly, I'm still working that out. I told you, this blog is mostly for my own growth. ;)

After months of thought and prayer, and gleaning wisdom from some very wise women, I will offer three practical guidelines that may help get the ball rolling.

1. If he's handing a discipline situation, LET HIM. If there is something you NEED to add during a discipline situation that he is handling, be sneaky about it. 

That sorry exchange up at the beginning of this post? It can be avoided. I can just keep my mouth shut and trust that if he needs to ask a clarifying question, he will. I can also be involved in the situation as his sidekick, rather than a mediator, and if I need to quickly tell him that what's happening here is just a miscommunication, it can look something like this:

Me: "{child's name}, I did ask you to do {such and such thing} for me--and I'm sorry for the miscommunication on my part--but please obey daddy and do as you were told, and we can talk about what I asked you to do afterward." 

This way I am not undermining his authority over the kids, but reinforcing it. Plus, I'm letting dad know that I goofed and that he might want to pull back a little because of that, but without derailing his opportunity to point our child to Jesus.

2. Remind them often of all that he does for the family.

My husband works his tail off at his job. I'm sure yours does too. I don't work outside the home (and even if I did, I don't have his admirable skill set and couldn't make even close to enough to support us), so I am pretty aware of how much we rely on him financially. When the kids and I go to the store and fill our cart up, that's an opportunity to bring up God's bountiful provision through daddy's job, and daddy's obedience to God in working hard at that job.

Also, those nights when my husband comes home from all that hard work and sees that I have had a monster of a day...and grabs us a pizza or cooks dinner himself, I can remind them of how he sacrificially loves mommy the way that Jesus loves us.

Additionally, when I see them stomping on their toys or treating the furniture like a jungle gym, I can remind them to be good stewards of what the Lord has blessed us with. It doesn't honor God to not take care of the things dad works hard to pay for, and they need to be reminded of that. (Psst: I'm not saying that you aren't teaching this lesson if you let your kids play rough with their toys or your couches....kids gon' be kids. You just have to look for these lessons where it's applicable to you.) :)

3. Remember that they are listening to how you speak to and relate to him.

I can get just a tad snippy and finger waggy. Hard to believe, I know. I have the sass of a thousand pregnant Beyonces, and it bursts forth quite valiantly at times. It's something that I chuckle about with friends who share this struggle, but when it comes down to it this is not a behavior that is honoring to God...or good for my kids to see.

If I speak to my husband disrespectfully, believe me, I will come face to face with it in the very near future when I hear the exact same tone out of their mouths. It's startling, and I speak from experience here.

Couples argue, and that won't change. Chicks get sassy, and that ain't goin nowhere. But the Bible does tell us to take captive every THOUGHT and make it obedient to Christ. Not even just every word. Every.Stinkin.Thought. Thank the beautiful Lord Jesus for his perfection, because I'd say the vast majority of my thoughts are not obedient to Him. I take great comfort from this verse, in the midst of the heavy conviction it brings. It's not saying that we can make our thoughts 100% pure, it's saying that right in the thick of those thoughts, we can MAKE them obedient to Christ.

When my inner preg-yonce is trying to claw her way out, and my pride is bubbling, and I JUST HAVE TO BE HEARD....I must try to make my thoughts obedient to Christ. I must try to speak respectfully to my husband, even though he is just so wrong in my opinion.



The task is a noble one, which of course makes it a difficult one. Help your husband establish Godly authority in your home under the authority if God's Word, and rest in Christ's perfection and grace when you don't get it right.

Here's to becoming more like Jesus,

Tiff

why perfect mom syndrome belittles the gospel...

Picture this. Someone hands you a beautifully wrapped present...we're talking Nordstrom's gift-wrapping counter quality here. It's obvious they spent a lot of time making sure every corner was perfect, that no tape was visible, and that the hand crafted ribbon bow was just right. It's plain to see that they spend hours picking out the most aesthetically pleasing combination of wrapping paper and ribbon.

Now imagine opening this gift, and finding the contents of one of those little silver trash cans attached to each stall of a public women's restroom. Yuck. What kind of person would do such a thing? Who would think that slapping a bow on this appalling mess would make somebody want it?

This kind of person would. Each day, I present my own righteous works to King Jesus as if I can somehow contribute to His perfect atonement on the cross. I wrap my filthy (menstrual, actually) rags, filled with self-righteousness and pride, in a cute little bow and haughtily strut this little package up to the throne as if it's something the Holy One needs. How dare I. I have the audacity to do this everyday, several times a day.

When I try to claw my way to the top of that perfect mommy/wife pedestal that I've created, this is what's happening. I am dishonoring Christ's work on the cross. I am slapping the Lord of Lords in the face, telling Him "that's nice, what you did...giving your perfect, sinless life and bearing and becoming all sin, and letting me share in your glory; but I really don't need help with this. This I am amazing at...just watch." How dare I. How dare I push His kindness aside to adorn myself with rags and flaunt my self-proclaimed greatness to the world??

This is a lot to handle, I know. I've been listening to "Since I am So Sick" by Enter the Worship Circle on repeat, and I know it's showing. The thing is, daily I forsake Him. Daily I belittle Him. Hourly I forget Him. And yet, ETERNALLY  He is kind. Eternally He is on the throne. Eternally He is faithful, righteous, loving, merciful, majestic, beautiful. In light of this, why do I keep trying to prove to myself and the rest of the world what a great mom & wife I am? On what scale do we think it will matter that we have clean baseboards, or don't give our kids candy, or homeschool, or clean our houses with vinegar instead of windex, or cook gourmet meals for our families every night? Do these "successes" (as we deem them) have eternal weight? Do these works add to the all encompassing, perfect, sufficient grace of God?

Hear me real quick when I say that there is nothing wrong with having strong beliefs/convictions/opinions or whatever about any of these things. Surely it is beneficial to be a good steward of our bodies, our health, our time, our homes, our precious babies. This is glorifying to God right up to the point where we become prideful in our own abilities, and our motives turn sinful. If I think that eating all organic or homeschooling (the list goes on and on....and I definitely don't eat all organic) makes me better than anyone else, yes, this is pride...and pride is sin. My pride in my own choices, accomplishments, abilities, is what belittles the gospel. The gospel of Jesus Christ does not include my greatness. The gospel frees me of the bondage of trying to prove my greatness. My greatness does not exist....my evil and depravity is covered by God's greatness!

Weary mother, beautiful young woman serving Him single, gentleman who stumbled upon this post, listen to this:

No matter what I do, no matter what choices I make, I am not--CAN NOT BE--good enough. Christ in me is my only hope of glory. Christ in me is my only hope of being a good wife, parent, friend, daughter, sister, employee, whatever He calls me to be. Please, oh please, live and rest in this freedom.

Here's to making much of Christ by boasting in our weakness!

Tiff

holiday humility...

Every year. Every single year, we all stress about the holidays and which side of the family we will be with on which day, which side gets Thanksgiving, which side gets Christmas Eve....do we even go to our family holiday dinners at all this year? If you aren't familiar with this stress, well...this blog post might not be for you, but please feel free to keep reading.

A few years ago (and as recent as last holiday season), my husband and I decided we were going to take a stand and "start our own holiday traditions." We decided we weren't going to be guilted into going to family holiday things...that we'd only go if we wanted to. I almost can't bear to read that as I'm typing it (Know that I just deleted and retyped this several times). The thought of my family reading this--and I know some of you will--just makes me want to cry. I'd like to take the time to publicly apologize for this attitude.

Let me hurry and say something real quick like before a bunch of people stop reading. This concept, in and of itself, is not bad at all. I think it is a wonderful idea to start traditions with your spouse and children...wonderful! I also understand that a lot of people have to travel to be with family over the holidays. Choosing not to cough up the expense to do so...well, that is definitely a choice we would have to make quite frequently if our families lived far away. 

What I am referring to, and attempting to repent of, is the attitude that often goes with these decisions; the attitude I have been guilty of acting with many times. I've shared before that I wrestle daily with not making my husband and children the gods of my life. That being said, as icky as this sounds, I don't want to share them with anyone. I want them to love me the most and the best, I want all of their special memories to include me and my husband....and no one else. ick. I hate admitting that, but in the hope of helping someone else realize the danger of this, I'm powering through! I'm also attempting to repent of being inconvenienced by my parents being amazing grandparents. How dare I?! How dare I have the nerve to be anything less than overwhelmed with thankfulness for their generosity and love?

Don't get me wrong. I'm right there with you, moms who read 7 and books n' blogs like it that talk about how spoiled our kids are. I think we should take steps to prevent this, however, being ungrateful and bossing our parents around is NOT the way to go about it. Dishonoring our parents by ordering them to only get our kids one present? Yep, I've done it, and I'm just going to come out and say it...it's disrespectful and ungrateful. On top of that, remember that your kids are watching you relate to your parents. I know. It's frightening.

If you want to set some kind of limit on the presents (which is a good thing, IMO), I implore you to try and come from a place of humility and respect. This is the kind of thing that requires a discussion, not an punctuation-less text saying "only 1 present for little johnny this year plz." I speak from experience. Yep, daughter of the century, right here.

If you read my post, "who do we think we are?", you might remember my talking about my conviction over not continuing to honor my mother and my in-laws as my adult life progresses. So let me pose the question, am I honoring my parents by secretly wanting to leave them out of my kids' special holiday memories and traditions? Personally (and I think this has to be a personal thing), I feel that I'm not. If I say "thanks for raising me, lending me money, helping me figure out how to be a parent (including at 3 in the morning when I am crying to you saying I can't do it), and trying your best to make the holidays special for me my whole life...but...I think we've got it from here. It's time for us to start "our" traditions now," what message is that sending to not only my children, but siblings and other young parents who are watching these actions?

I don't mean to wag my finger at anyone who makes that tough decision to keep the holidays within your new, precious family unit. It is so precious to have that time alone with your husband and kids! This is a conviction that God has heavily placed on my heart, and I don't have the audacity to believe everyone should follow suit. All I know is, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my mom. My husband wouldn't be here if it wasn't for his parents. Our incredible, breathtaking babies wouldn't be here if it weren't for these precious people. In light of this, I feel that including them in the new traditions we hope to build, and continuing to embrace the established traditions is a very practical way we can honor our parents. Honestly, is it that hard to do your own thing and show up at your family events? I promise, it's not as stressful as you might think!

Lastly, I won't tell you how long I sat and wept a while ago over the thought of my kids not wanting to include me in their holidays after they are grown....it's embarrassing. Let's just say you'd think someone died. I can't expect my kids to honor me into adulthood if I don't set that example; and I hope that--by God's grace--my example might resemble someone who is blessed and privileged  by the opportunity to honor my fantastic parents, someone who doesn't let apathy take over in how they relate to and love on those who made my family possible.

I realize there are some out there who will read this and meet it with bitterness toward parents who they feel failed them. All I can say is that if you've ever seen a holiday movie from the 80s or 90s, you know that the holiday season is prime reconciliation material. Give it a go, I think I will...but that's a story for another time.

Here's to creating a culture of honor in Him,

Tiff

{allow yourself grace} mealtime...

Something sad happened as I was creating this post. I was looking for an image of a fancy, elaborate table setting (to use ironically in this post, mind you), and I would say that about two thirds of the images were from blogs that were encouraging other women to set their tables this way in everyday life. I don't mean to point the finger at anyone else, but I will admit that it almost stopped me from writing this post. In that moment, I felt inadequate...not only as a homemaker (I can count on one hand the times I've done an elaborate tablescape, even for holidays), but as a blogger. "No one is going to want to read this. Look at all these other blogs that help women be fancy. That's what people really want, to be told how they should and can improve." This is what was going through my mind as I scrolled through these photos, with this post in mind.

I'm hoping that since insecurity resonated like a giant gong (sorry, my kids are watching Mulan), it means I definitely need to write this post. Every time that has happened in the past, God has been able to use said post to encourage someone. So...do your thang, Jesus. Encourage someone with what follows...please!

Meal time in our household. Where do I begin? I LOVE to cook . Love it. I promise I'm not saying that to sound all domesticated...frankly it re-he-he-heally bothers me that it's now trendy to cook because it's trendy to be vintage and vintage means June Cleaver meets Julia Child. Pardon me for a moment while I gag. If you genuinely love to cook, own it...by all means. If cooking isn't a passion or hobby for you, but you do it anyway...OWN.IT!! That's awesome! Anyway, I digress...Oh yeah, I like to cook.

My gram and mom were and are fantastic cooks. I grew up eating some great food, and I am so blessed to have learned to cook from these women. That being said, last time I checked I had at least 4 kids...maybe more. Sometimes it feels like more. I ADORE that we are blessed with a large family, and I adore this adventure with my husband. I see the gospel everyday in my life, in my home, in my children. What a tremendous blessing! That doesn't mean that it isn't excruciatingly hard sometimes. It.Is.Excruciatingly.Hard.Some.Times. Sometimes I am just completely burnt out and done-zo. When these days/stretches of days come, you can place a safe bet on the fact that I don't feel like making dinner. Heck, sometimes it feels like an enormous chore to feed them cereal for breakfast and PB&J for lunch.

So, do I make dinner anyway, you ask? Um...sometimes. Sometimes my wonderful husband will make us a pot of pasta or pancakes, and sometimes we (bum BUM BUMMMMM)--gasp--eat fast food or grab a 5 dollar pizza. When this happens, I will admit that I don't feel as great about how I am providing for my family, but God faithfully allows me to see that while I may be lacking in the "providing sustenance" department, I am filling my cup in the peace and rest department...things that will overflow on to my family as we eat our Taco Bell. I know fast food/frozen pizza/sandwiches might not puff us up as much as we write them in those little boxes on our meal planning forms, but couldn't that be a good thing? I'm much more equipped to show my children the enveloping grace and sufficiency of Christ in my life if I have recently been humbled by admitting that I can't do it all!

Let me say, for the record, my husband takes the family table pretty seriously. I am blessed to be married to a man who longs to sit around our table and make much of Jesus as a family as much as possible. I don't always share this same longing, but it sure is a fun little way to practice that submissive spirit! ;) Even on those nights when our dinner might not be the most nutritious, and may not have been prepared with love in our own kitchen; rather than wallowing in guilt and feeling like a failure, I try to rest in my Jesus' unchanging love for me, and sit around the table with my better half and my 4 gorgeous babies and consume together, with love, the food God has so graciously provided...even if it doesn't include homemade bread or anything organic.

One more quick thing. I know some families are crazy busy, and can't always eat around the table together. While I would encourage everyone to try and make that a priority, please don't feel like there is any judgement here. For us, it's really only been the last couple years that we've, by the grace of God, been able to make it a pretty steady tradition in our home. Also, there are still plenty of nights this doesn't happen for whatever reason...we just try. That's good enough for us.

Oh, and sometimes we use paper plates and stuff. errmahgerrsh. I know.

Here's to being thankful, rather than egotistical, when it comes to our meals!

Tiff

{letting your husband lead you, part 2} submission: antiquated and oppressing, or timeless and freeing?

Believe it or not, I am not always a submissive and respectful wife. I'll pause for a second to let that sink in, because I know how shocking it is.

It's been a minute since I've posted anything, and it's because it has taken weeks of thought and prayer for me to be comfortable posting on this topic. I want to portray Biblical submission correctly, and that is a tall order. I'd like to start by talking about the more contemporary view of submission, because until a couple years ago, it was where I camped.

Chances are, if you ask someone who isn't a Christian or someone who goes to a more emergent (emergent: adj a church that focuses on being less institutionalized) Christian church, they will see this concept as a bit outdated or irrelevant. In fact, most people who attend a more traditional Christian church might even be leaning in that direction. I'm not sure, but I would guess that it stems from the fact that nobody wants to be bossed around. Husbands don't want to be told to sacrificially love their wives and give themselves up, or be commanded to cleanse their wives with the Word. In turn, wives don't want to be subject to their husbands. Therefore, "submission" begins to look like domineering husbands controlling their silently reverent wives. I get how that picture of marriage isn't widely accepted in today's society. I get it. Submission just doesn't come naturally to any of us, right?

The problem with living by that logic is that what does come natural to us is sin. When Jesus spoke about dying to self and taking up our cross, well...to me that speaks volumes about not doing what comes naturally to us! Submission doesn't come naturally to me (fo sheezy), but I trust that as I am sanctified by the Holy Spirit and made more like Jesus, that my will (what I naturally desire) will line up more and more with God's will. This command is defined by the Lord, and confined to what is honoring to Him alone. I think somewhere along the way, this slipped through the cracks of the world's view of a wife's role in the marriage relationship.

So what does submission look like, anyway? It seems to me that a lot of people (myself included) don't bother to find that out before just shrugging this concept off as antiquated. To my knowledge, and in my experience, submission looks like what the world might call "mutual respect." If my husband snaps his fingers at me and I bow my head, cower, and there is a childlike obedience there...that wouldn't be healthy for either of us. I would never feel close to my husband if our relationship worked like this, and what reason would he have to respect me? This model for marriage--Jesus and the church--was given to us for our benefit and to create a safe, intimate, mutually encouraging environment within our marriages. 

It seems that the term "submission" has gotten a bad rap, because it is said by many to be oppressive and dishonoring to women. I can definitely see where this idea came from, but I have found it to be completely contrary to my own experience. The Bible tells women to be subject to their own husbands, whether or not their husbands fulfill the counterpart of this command; which if you think about it, is probably why so many people have a problem with it. In my opinion, that is the beautiful thing about it! It's not saying that we should let our husbands treat us like we're nothing, and never say a word about it. I believe it's just saying what should be the most obvious part of marriage--love your spouse even when they don't deserve it. You can love your spouse the best when they are at their worst. This is how Jesus loves the church. I heard a very wise pastor say this once, and I was flabbergasted that it hadn't occurred to me before! 

Additionally, if we look at the part addressed to husbands, it is the most beautiful picture of love there is. Wives, shouldn't we be eternally thankful that God didn't place a condition on that part of it? "Love your wife like Jesus loves the church....if she deserves it." It sends shivers down my spine. Nobody deserves to be loved like that, therein lies the gospel of Jesus Christ! 

Godly, Biblical submission (in my experience) looks something like this. If there is an area that I'm not seeing eye to eye with my husband, and what he is asking of me isn't dishonoring to God, I humbly lay my own desires aside (which in and of itself is honoring to God, and commanded by God) and show my husband love and respect with my actions...even if the honorable judge ME has decided he doesn't deserve it. 

What submission might look like:

My husband points me to the Lord when my focus or worship has shifted.

My husband holds me accountable in my relationship with Jesus. 

My husband holds me accountable in my stewardship.

I strive not to undermine his Godly authority over our household.

I don't argue with him in front of our children, and try not to be argumentative in general.

I approach disagreements with him from a place of respect and humility. 

I try not to use my emotions to manipulate him.

What submission is not:

I never give my opinion.

I only speak when spoken to.

My husband makes every decision for our family on his own.

My husband never has to lift a finger to help.

I blindly agree with everything he says and does.

I do not speak up for myself when my husband dishonors me, or asks something of me that is dishonoring to God.

I don't express my feelings to him.

(Please hear me that when I say "I, Me, My husband" in these examples...I'm not actually pointing to my own life...except that my husband is an amazing, Godly man who almost always does his part right! )

To close, I'd like to share a few insights from people much wiser than myself.

"A wife flourishes with a loving husband, and a husband becomes courageous with a respectful wife."

-Mark Driscoll, "Real Marriage"

"Submission is not the husband's to command, but for the wife to willingly and lovingly offer."

-John MacArthur, Commentary on Ephesians 5

"For husbands to love their wives as Christ does His church, demands a purifying love. Since divine love seeks to completely cleanse those who are loved from every form of sin and evil, a Christian husband should not be able to bear the thought of anything sinful in the life of his wife that displeases God. His greatest desire for her should be that she become perfectly conformed to Christ, so he leads her to purity."

-John MacArthur, Commentary on Ephesians 5

Here's to lovingly offering our submission, in hopes of allowing our husbands to be courageous and love us with a purifying, cleansing love! 

Tiff