Picture this. Someone hands you a beautifully wrapped present...we're talking Nordstrom's gift-wrapping counter quality here. It's obvious they spent a lot of time making sure every corner was perfect, that no tape was visible, and that the hand crafted ribbon bow was just right. It's plain to see that they spend hours picking out the most aesthetically pleasing combination of wrapping paper and ribbon.
Now imagine opening this gift, and finding the contents of one of those little silver trash cans attached to each stall of a public women's restroom. Yuck. What kind of person would do such a thing? Who would think that slapping a bow on this appalling mess would make somebody want it?
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This kind of person would. Each day, I present my own righteous works to King Jesus as if I can somehow contribute to His perfect atonement on the cross. I wrap my filthy (menstrual, actually) rags, filled with self-righteousness and pride, in a cute little bow and haughtily strut this little package up to the throne as if it's something the Holy One needs. How dare I. I have the audacity to do this everyday, several times a day.
When I try to claw my way to the top of that perfect mommy/wife pedestal that I've created, this is what's happening. I am dishonoring Christ's work on the cross. I am slapping the Lord of Lords in the face, telling Him "that's nice, what you did...giving your perfect, sinless life and bearing and becoming all sin, and letting me share in your glory; but I really don't need help with this. This I am amazing at...just watch." How dare I. How dare I push His kindness aside to adorn myself with rags and flaunt my self-proclaimed greatness to the world??
This is a lot to handle, I know. I've been listening to "Since I am So Sick" by Enter the Worship Circle on repeat, and I know it's showing. The thing is, daily I forsake Him. Daily I belittle Him. Hourly I forget Him. And yet, ETERNALLY He is kind. Eternally He is on the throne. Eternally He is faithful, righteous, loving, merciful, majestic, beautiful. In light of this, why do I keep trying to prove to myself and the rest of the world what a great mom & wife I am? On what scale do we think it will matter that we have clean baseboards, or don't give our kids candy, or homeschool, or clean our houses with vinegar instead of windex, or cook gourmet meals for our families every night? Do these "successes" (as we deem them) have eternal weight? Do these works add to the all encompassing, perfect, sufficient grace of God?
Hear me real quick when I say that there is nothing wrong with having strong beliefs/convictions/opinions or whatever about any of these things. Surely it is beneficial to be a good steward of our bodies, our health, our time, our homes, our precious babies. This is glorifying to God right up to the point where we become prideful in our own abilities, and our motives turn sinful. If I think that eating all organic or homeschooling (the list goes on and on....and I definitely don't eat all organic) makes me better than anyone else, yes, this is pride...and pride is sin. My pride in my own choices, accomplishments, abilities, is what belittles the gospel. The gospel of Jesus Christ does not include my greatness. The gospel frees me of the bondage of trying to prove my greatness. My greatness does not exist....my evil and depravity is covered by God's greatness!
Weary mother, beautiful young woman serving Him single, gentleman who stumbled upon this post, listen to this:
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Here's to making much of Christ by boasting in our weakness!
Tiff
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