Thank you for visiting, I hope you stick around! This is a blog dedicated to encouraging women to rest in God's grace and righteousness. I pray that nothing you read or see here leaves you feeling discouraged or inadequate. The last thing I want is to contribute to the "I don't measure up to this blog" epidemic that is plaguing so many moms today! My prayer is that this blog helps any readers (and myself) be comfortable with the eternal and secure identity in Christ that is there for the taking. Here's to walking in His liberty!


Tuesday, April 22, 2014

does your husband really deserve your respect and submission?

Nope. He doesn't.

I may not know anything about your husband, but I do know this: He doesn't deserve your respect, or for you to submit to him. He really doesn't deserve your love either.

Chances are he messes up all the time. He probably misses the mark a lot when it comes to leading your family. I'm sure we could go on and on, but I don't want to be disrespectful to anyone...so I'll get to the point.

Respect can't be something we make our husbands earn, nor our submission; because they will never consistently deserve it. If I am using a sliding scale of sorts to determine whether or not my husband deserves my respect and submission, I will always be able to find a reason not to....and I think we all know that is what our flesh desires. We just love finding fault in others too much.

Now ask yourself, what does the gospel of Jesus Christ say about what we deserve and what we are capable of earning? Are you capable of earning and deserving your husband's love?? Certainly not! If my husband decided to use that sliding scale to determine my worthiness of his love--well, he wouldn't ever do that (thank the Lord)--I would be doomed. 

It's preposterous to be in a gospel centered marriage and think of love this way, but for some reason I'm able to trick myself into seeing submission this way. But if we look in Ephesians 5, the two are right next to each other in Paul's instruction for marriage. And I know that, I've known that for a long time. So why do I let myself believe that my husband needs to be found deserving of my respect and submission in a court where I am judge and jury? This is not only unhealthy to a marriage, but it is contradictory to the gospel! 

We glorify God in our submission, and isn't that why we were created? We are ultimately submitting to the Lord by striving to have a submissive spirit in our marriages, and fulfilling our sole purpose in life...to bring glory to God!

Friend, if you have struggled with this as I have, I urge you to consider YOUR desperate and helpless state...and what you truly deserve. We all deserve the wrath of a just and righteous creator, yet are offered adoption as sons of God through Christ's atoning work. We live redeemed and free from the bondage of sin, yet we can never earn or deserve it. 

Father, may we as wives submit ultimately to you; and may your love flow through us and on to our families.
Here's to seeing through the eyes of the Spirit!

Linking up with Time Warp Wife's Titus 2sdays!!


  1. Love this post because it's so TRUE! Honoring our husbands isn't about what they deserve at all, it's what we're called to do. Thanks for sharing. We don't deserve Jesus' love but He freely gives it! {www.redeemingtheday.com}

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Molly! Beautiful comment, you're so right. Freely we've received, now freely we are to give. :)


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