1 Peter 3:4 Printable {gentle and quiet spirit}

Since I am SERIOUSLY slacking in my posts lately, here's something fun to fill in the gap! I don't know about you, but I definitely need this reminder DAILY. I am hanging this up above my desk, but you could also scale it down when you print and just hang a lit'l version on your bathroom mirror, or wherever it will encourage you. :)

Click the link below for a PDF version.

Quiet Spirit Printable


Here's to a gentle and quiet spirit!

does your husband really deserve your respect and submission?

Nope. He doesn't.

I may not know anything about your husband, but I do know this: He doesn't deserve your respect, or for you to submit to him. He really doesn't deserve your love either.

Chances are he messes up all the time. He probably misses the mark a lot when it comes to leading your family. I'm sure we could go on and on, but I don't want to be disrespectful to anyone...so I'll get to the point.

Respect can't be something we make our husbands earn, nor our submission; because they will never consistently deserve it. If I am using a sliding scale of sorts to determine whether or not my husband deserves my respect and submission, I will always be able to find a reason not to....and I think we all know that is what our flesh desires. We just love finding fault in others too much.

Now ask yourself, what does the gospel of Jesus Christ say about what we deserve and what we are capable of earning? Are you capable of earning and deserving your husband's love?? Certainly not! If my husband decided to use that sliding scale to determine my worthiness of his love--well, he wouldn't ever do that (thank the Lord)--I would be doomed. 

It's preposterous to be in a gospel centered marriage and think of love this way, but for some reason I'm able to trick myself into seeing submission this way. But if we look in Ephesians 5, the two are right next to each other in Paul's instruction for marriage. And I know that, I've known that for a long time. So why do I let myself believe that my husband needs to be found deserving of my respect and submission in a court where I am judge and jury? This is not only unhealthy to a marriage, but it is contradictory to the gospel! 

We glorify God in our submission, and isn't that why we were created? We are ultimately submitting to the Lord by striving to have a submissive spirit in our marriages, and fulfilling our sole purpose in life...to bring glory to God!

Friend, if you have struggled with this as I have, I urge you to consider YOUR desperate and helpless state...and what you truly deserve. We all deserve the wrath of a just and righteous creator, yet are offered adoption as sons of God through Christ's atoning work. We live redeemed and free from the bondage of sin, yet we can never earn or deserve it. 

Father, may we as wives submit ultimately to you; and may your love flow through us and on to our families.

Here's to seeing through the eyes of the Spirit!

Linking up with Time Warp Wife's Titus 2sdays!!

Our first GIVEAWAY!!!

I'm so excited about my first giveaway!! The lovely lady behind the adorable Welcome, Darling. has been generous enough to supply this #adorbzzz scalloped edge hat & accessory bundle, for one lucky winner! All you have to do to enter is like the {mkg} Facebook page !!! Once it hits 50 likes, a winner will be selected at random. Don't miss out!

sickness in my house...again. I just...can't. {plus cute medication log printable}

This isn't an exaggeration. Brace yourself.

My family has been sick perhaps twelve times in the past six months. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Everyone keeps asking me if there is something in my house that is making us sick (super comforting thought, btw), and if I'm doing things to boost our immune system.

I don't know if there is something in this house making us sick, but I really don't think there is. It's been stomach bugs, head colds, combinations of the two, pneumonia, etc. Oh, and I am doing the best I can with the immune system thing. We are using a custom blend of essential oils for immunity (something I'm trying to convince ShabbyNot4Gotten to add to her fabulous side project, The High Heeled Hippy on Storenvy), we're doing probiotics, juices & smoothies, making sure we get enough exercise, etc. 

All that being said, we've just been sick SO MUCH. And I just can't. ("Just can't what?") I just can't.

I am in complete survival mode these days. Imagine me juggling sippy cups & bottles, medicine bottles, snacks, a pot boiling over in the background, approximately 3-4 kids screaming and crying in the background, me stepping on a duplo and dropping said cups, bottles, and medicine bottles, me yelling at said kids, me stomping into my room for a scream into a pillow and a deep, cleansing breath (or 50), and finally me coming out with tears in my eyes, ready to start over.

^^This. This has been my life nearly every of the times the past few months.

Allow me to clarify something right quick? I really don't want to complain about my life...it is SO awesome, and I am SO SO SO thankful for it. This is a vent, but also a hope that someone can relate to and be encouraged by all of this...somehow. 

With all this juggling and what not going on, and me constantly zombie-ing around, I worry about giving my kids the wrong dose of medicine or flat out the wrong medicine. Plus, my cubby goes to the hospital every now and then and I need to know everything he's had the previous few days...so...I try to always use a medication log. (Quick disclaimer: I am not beast mode organized. I really want to be, and I have been for a select few seasons of life, but this is not one of them.) It's just a simple little form to track which kid had which thing and how much they had; or rather, how much was in the cup or dropper...and I really have no idea how much made it down the hatch.

So, without further ado, I give you the medication log. Print a few and hang them up in your kitchen or bathroom, or wherever the pharmacy is in your home.

Here's to...praying through the rest of cold & flu season!

Tiff

self-esteem vs. the gospel

Have you ever thought about the fact that the whole concept of self-esteem is contrary to the gospel? You probably have. I hadn't. 

But maybe, just like me, you've been told your whole life that it's what you think of yourself that's important...and nothing else. Honestly, I've told my daughters this and not thought much of it. Even as I've grown and matured as a Christian, and striven to live in a more Christlike manner (which calls us to DIE to self!!), I've held on to that concept of self-esteem. The age old concept of liking yourself, and caring about your own opinion of yourself more than what others think of you. 

In his book, "The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness," Timothy Keller runs this mindset through the ringer...and I'm so very thankful.

“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

This C.S. Lewis quote (referenced in "The Freedom of Self'-Forgetfulness") just about sums up the  main idea of the book, and it's a quote I'd heard before but apparently never spent much time contemplating. In reality, my version of humility often looks a lot like pride. Sure, I'm not sitting around thinking about how great I am; but in my feeble attempts to be humble and Christlike in how I view myself, I sure ended up thinking about myself a lot. Here, Keller offers up a simpler approach to gospel humility...just don't care what YOU think about yourself. Don't think about yourself. Think about Jesus. Be secure in the fact that the Almighty thinks of you. Think about other people, and their needs. Think.Of.Yourself.LESS. 

If you are aiming for being truly humble, it doesn't quite hit the mark if you are always thinking of ways YOU can improve, or what a scumbag YOU are. This has been my version of humility. I am constantly looking for ways to make myself better, but masking it as "I'm humble because I'm not thinking of how great I am, I'm thinking of ways I'm not great (and thinking of ways to fix them all)." Me me me me me. I I I I I. 

Sound familiar? If it does, read this book in conjunction with the passages he references in it. It costs about three cents on kindle (okay a hundred and sixty-two cents at the moment), and will take you an hour or two to get through. 

Oh, and if you are convicted by this...don't dwell on what an awful person you are because, well... (see above). 

Here's to thinking of ourselves less!

Tiff

{letting your husband lead you, part 3} help him establish authority with the children...

How many times has this happened?

Dad: "{Kid}, what exactly do you think you are doing? I asked you to {insert task here}."

Kid stands there dumbfounded, not knowing what to say.

Kid: "Um...mom asked me to {insert thing that got in the way here}..."

Me: "Honey, I did ask her to do this for me real quick. Can she do{his ignored task} after??"

(Or something of that nature.)

This happens so much in my house! My poor husband is so good at taking each little opportunity to gain ground with our kids, as far as their obedience goes. He is great at phrasing things the right way. He can assert his Godly authority over our children without exasperating them....and then I come along and throw a wrench in the works. I undermine his authority right in front of them.

I'm sure some will think that may be a harsh way to put it, but you have to think about it the way a child will think about it. A child will have a heck of a time differentiating my chiming in to modify and/or negate the discipline situation they are in with their father, from me telling them flat out to ignore him, or that what he says goes...as long as it aligns with everyone else's opinion. If I've done the first in front of the kids, I may as well have done the second.

Though this may sound weird at first, think about why at least half of the moms out there say the phrase "you just wait until your father gets home." I'm not saying we shouldn't discipline our kids ourselves, ladies, but God's design for the Christian family home places the man as the head. Maybe this is why that phrase flies out of millions of mouths every single day. He has Godly authority over his family, and you have the Godly task of helping him establish this authority with your children.

So what does this look like practically? Honestly, I'm still working that out. I told you, this blog is mostly for my own growth. ;)

After months of thought and prayer, and gleaning wisdom from some very wise women, I will offer three practical guidelines that may help get the ball rolling.

1. If he's handing a discipline situation, LET HIM. If there is something you NEED to add during a discipline situation that he is handling, be sneaky about it. 

That sorry exchange up at the beginning of this post? It can be avoided. I can just keep my mouth shut and trust that if he needs to ask a clarifying question, he will. I can also be involved in the situation as his sidekick, rather than a mediator, and if I need to quickly tell him that what's happening here is just a miscommunication, it can look something like this:

Me: "{child's name}, I did ask you to do {such and such thing} for me--and I'm sorry for the miscommunication on my part--but please obey daddy and do as you were told, and we can talk about what I asked you to do afterward." 

This way I am not undermining his authority over the kids, but reinforcing it. Plus, I'm letting dad know that I goofed and that he might want to pull back a little because of that, but without derailing his opportunity to point our child to Jesus.

2. Remind them often of all that he does for the family.

My husband works his tail off at his job. I'm sure yours does too. I don't work outside the home (and even if I did, I don't have his admirable skill set and couldn't make even close to enough to support us), so I am pretty aware of how much we rely on him financially. When the kids and I go to the store and fill our cart up, that's an opportunity to bring up God's bountiful provision through daddy's job, and daddy's obedience to God in working hard at that job.

Also, those nights when my husband comes home from all that hard work and sees that I have had a monster of a day...and grabs us a pizza or cooks dinner himself, I can remind them of how he sacrificially loves mommy the way that Jesus loves us.

Additionally, when I see them stomping on their toys or treating the furniture like a jungle gym, I can remind them to be good stewards of what the Lord has blessed us with. It doesn't honor God to not take care of the things dad works hard to pay for, and they need to be reminded of that. (Psst: I'm not saying that you aren't teaching this lesson if you let your kids play rough with their toys or your couches....kids gon' be kids. You just have to look for these lessons where it's applicable to you.) :)

3. Remember that they are listening to how you speak to and relate to him.

I can get just a tad snippy and finger waggy. Hard to believe, I know. I have the sass of a thousand pregnant Beyonces, and it bursts forth quite valiantly at times. It's something that I chuckle about with friends who share this struggle, but when it comes down to it this is not a behavior that is honoring to God...or good for my kids to see.

If I speak to my husband disrespectfully, believe me, I will come face to face with it in the very near future when I hear the exact same tone out of their mouths. It's startling, and I speak from experience here.

Couples argue, and that won't change. Chicks get sassy, and that ain't goin nowhere. But the Bible does tell us to take captive every THOUGHT and make it obedient to Christ. Not even just every word. Every.Stinkin.Thought. Thank the beautiful Lord Jesus for his perfection, because I'd say the vast majority of my thoughts are not obedient to Him. I take great comfort from this verse, in the midst of the heavy conviction it brings. It's not saying that we can make our thoughts 100% pure, it's saying that right in the thick of those thoughts, we can MAKE them obedient to Christ.

When my inner preg-yonce is trying to claw her way out, and my pride is bubbling, and I JUST HAVE TO BE HEARD....I must try to make my thoughts obedient to Christ. I must try to speak respectfully to my husband, even though he is just so wrong in my opinion.



The task is a noble one, which of course makes it a difficult one. Help your husband establish Godly authority in your home under the authority if God's Word, and rest in Christ's perfection and grace when you don't get it right.

Here's to becoming more like Jesus,

Tiff

why perfect mom syndrome belittles the gospel...

Picture this. Someone hands you a beautifully wrapped present...we're talking Nordstrom's gift-wrapping counter quality here. It's obvious they spent a lot of time making sure every corner was perfect, that no tape was visible, and that the hand crafted ribbon bow was just right. It's plain to see that they spend hours picking out the most aesthetically pleasing combination of wrapping paper and ribbon.

Now imagine opening this gift, and finding the contents of one of those little silver trash cans attached to each stall of a public women's restroom. Yuck. What kind of person would do such a thing? Who would think that slapping a bow on this appalling mess would make somebody want it?

This kind of person would. Each day, I present my own righteous works to King Jesus as if I can somehow contribute to His perfect atonement on the cross. I wrap my filthy (menstrual, actually) rags, filled with self-righteousness and pride, in a cute little bow and haughtily strut this little package up to the throne as if it's something the Holy One needs. How dare I. I have the audacity to do this everyday, several times a day.

When I try to claw my way to the top of that perfect mommy/wife pedestal that I've created, this is what's happening. I am dishonoring Christ's work on the cross. I am slapping the Lord of Lords in the face, telling Him "that's nice, what you did...giving your perfect, sinless life and bearing and becoming all sin, and letting me share in your glory; but I really don't need help with this. This I am amazing at...just watch." How dare I. How dare I push His kindness aside to adorn myself with rags and flaunt my self-proclaimed greatness to the world??

This is a lot to handle, I know. I've been listening to "Since I am So Sick" by Enter the Worship Circle on repeat, and I know it's showing. The thing is, daily I forsake Him. Daily I belittle Him. Hourly I forget Him. And yet, ETERNALLY  He is kind. Eternally He is on the throne. Eternally He is faithful, righteous, loving, merciful, majestic, beautiful. In light of this, why do I keep trying to prove to myself and the rest of the world what a great mom & wife I am? On what scale do we think it will matter that we have clean baseboards, or don't give our kids candy, or homeschool, or clean our houses with vinegar instead of windex, or cook gourmet meals for our families every night? Do these "successes" (as we deem them) have eternal weight? Do these works add to the all encompassing, perfect, sufficient grace of God?

Hear me real quick when I say that there is nothing wrong with having strong beliefs/convictions/opinions or whatever about any of these things. Surely it is beneficial to be a good steward of our bodies, our health, our time, our homes, our precious babies. This is glorifying to God right up to the point where we become prideful in our own abilities, and our motives turn sinful. If I think that eating all organic or homeschooling (the list goes on and on....and I definitely don't eat all organic) makes me better than anyone else, yes, this is pride...and pride is sin. My pride in my own choices, accomplishments, abilities, is what belittles the gospel. The gospel of Jesus Christ does not include my greatness. The gospel frees me of the bondage of trying to prove my greatness. My greatness does not exist....my evil and depravity is covered by God's greatness!

Weary mother, beautiful young woman serving Him single, gentleman who stumbled upon this post, listen to this:

No matter what I do, no matter what choices I make, I am not--CAN NOT BE--good enough. Christ in me is my only hope of glory. Christ in me is my only hope of being a good wife, parent, friend, daughter, sister, employee, whatever He calls me to be. Please, oh please, live and rest in this freedom.

Here's to making much of Christ by boasting in our weakness!

Tiff