Have you ever thought about the fact that the whole concept of self-esteem is contrary to the gospel? You probably have. I hadn't.
But maybe, just like me, you've been told your whole life that it's what you think of yourself that's important...and nothing else. Honestly, I've told my daughters this and not thought much of it. Even as I've grown and matured as a Christian, and striven to live in a more Christlike manner (which calls us to DIE to self!!), I've held on to that concept of self-esteem. The age old concept of liking yourself, and caring about your own opinion of yourself more than what others think of you.
In his book, "The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness," Timothy Keller runs this mindset through the ringer...and I'm so very thankful.
“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”
C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
This C.S. Lewis quote (referenced in "The Freedom of Self'-Forgetfulness") just about sums up the main idea of the book, and it's a quote I'd heard before but apparently never spent much time contemplating. In reality, my version of humility often looks a lot like pride. Sure, I'm not sitting around thinking about how great I am; but in my feeble attempts to be humble and Christlike in how I view myself, I sure ended up thinking about myself a lot. Here, Keller offers up a simpler approach to gospel humility...just don't care what YOU think about yourself. Don't think about yourself. Think about Jesus. Be secure in the fact that the Almighty thinks of you. Think about other people, and their needs. Think.Of.Yourself.LESS.
If you are aiming for being truly humble, it doesn't quite hit the mark if you are always thinking of ways YOU can improve, or what a scumbag YOU are. This has been my version of humility. I am constantly looking for ways to make myself better, but masking it as "I'm humble because I'm not thinking of how great I am, I'm thinking of ways I'm not great (and thinking of ways to fix them all)." Me me me me me. I I I I I.
Sound familiar? If it does, read this book in conjunction with the passages he references in it. It costs about three cents on kindle (okay a hundred and sixty-two cents at the moment), and will take you an hour or two to get through.
Oh, and if you are convicted by this...don't dwell on what an awful person you are because, well... (see above).
Here's to thinking of ourselves less!
Tiff
